Talk about empowering. Rather than go over old boyfriends or high school drama, Melissa McCarthy shared a plethora of inspiring messages, topped off with her trademark sense of humor (of course a walk of shame can be character-building). Not only did she encourage her future self to “for the love of God, buy both pairs of shoes” and “just eat the damn cookie!!,” Melissa McCarthy also focused on relationships. Past boyfriends are just dust in the wind, and when in doubt, call Mom (I can personally vouch for that last one).